MTVBKA

Hear MTV Awards, thoughts go to Best Kiss, right?  Well, in Tropic Thunder, there is a line in a fake trailer saying "starring Academy Award Winner Kurt Lazarus and MTV Best Kiss Award Winner Toby Maguire."  Is the upside-down spidy kiss the best of all time? It might be, but two other MTV best kisses stand out in my mind to combat it.  Could it be the salavatastic girl on girl action that we see in Cruel Intentions or can it be the sweet, sexy, pre-coitus lovin between real-life loves, Rachy and Ryry, in The Notebook. Truthfully, I bet there are better on-screen kisses out there than any of them.  The Rachy/Ry one works because of the fab acceptance, the SMG/Selma one is obvs, because of the lezlove.  

In my mind, the only true winner is the one of the little superhero, who costars with Australian moviestar, Kurt Lazarus.  Kirsten Dunst and Tobey MaG sort of changed the whole meaning of movie kisses.  They spawned countless imitations (including a supremely sexy one between Seth and Summer, second season of TheOC), and showed how fab an anonymous makeout sesh can be.  I actually have no recollection of any other MTV kisses ever.  Because maybe they are totally unmemorable.

Ah, but TV kisses, that's another story.  Veronica and Logan, first season, after they battle my second grade crush, JTT, ah now that is passion.  And the following few episodes just keep getting better.  Ryan and Marissa on the ferris wheel.  Ryan and Marissa over and over again.  Just youtube best kisses, and you will see for sure, that TV, for some reason, expresses much better kissy passion than movies.  Maybe because movies can show sex, so they don't put as much pressure on the power of some lip action, as non-HBO/Showtime channels do.  Ross and Rachel outside the coffeeshop anyone?  How about Rory and Jess at Suki's wedding?  Okay, some movies can do it (we have all seen Titanic, I get it), but unless you are Zac and Vanessa, or in a cartoon, TV has the category topped.

Teardrops on My Guitar

I don't mean the Tay Tay song either.  Even though most people know how much I love her.  I just mean things that make me cry.  I used to cry about everything.  I could cry on cue, to get the big sis in trouble.  I could cry over getting punished.  But the first time a movie made me cry was the first time I saw Titanic in fourth grade.  Maybe it was Leo's sheer beauty, or the frozen bodies in the water, or the fact that one half of the star-crossed duo died (everyone knows the ending anyway, don't whine).  I guess it was all of it, because 9-year old Sandy stayed in the seat after the movie and sobbed.  Next up was My Girl, because really who can't cry during that?  Come on, when he goes back to get the mood ring, and then the bees, and the funeral home, it's the most depressing.  

But nothing compares to the ultimate tearjerker.  Starring the famazing Bette Midler and the unknown in anything else to me, Barbara Hershey, is the sob-inducing masterpiece, Beaches.  I can barely even think about that movie without breaking down.  Who can resist, when Bette sings Wind Beneath My Wings, with the daughter watching from the sidelines?  If you can, don't tell me, because I will deem you heartless and write you off.

I will not deem you heartless if you write off the first ever book that made me cry, A Walk to Remember.  I agree with your mocking.  Because Nicholas Sparks is terrible. But dying teenagers is sad.  Right?

Ever since, everything will make me cry.  I have to skip season finales of TV shows, and don't even get me started on the Ross/Rachel breakup episode of season 3 (they continue to break up every season following, but they don't do it).  

Now you know.  My pathetic secret.  Movies, TV episodes, books, "Let it Be", it all reduces me to the status of a post-partum mother.  Fortunately, TV commercials haven't done it yet.  Maybe the whole my brother ditched me for pot commercials, but THAT'S IT.

Love you Taylor Swift!