MTVBKA

Hear MTV Awards, thoughts go to Best Kiss, right?  Well, in Tropic Thunder, there is a line in a fake trailer saying "starring Academy Award Winner Kurt Lazarus and MTV Best Kiss Award Winner Toby Maguire."  Is the upside-down spidy kiss the best of all time? It might be, but two other MTV best kisses stand out in my mind to combat it.  Could it be the salavatastic girl on girl action that we see in Cruel Intentions or can it be the sweet, sexy, pre-coitus lovin between real-life loves, Rachy and Ryry, in The Notebook. Truthfully, I bet there are better on-screen kisses out there than any of them.  The Rachy/Ry one works because of the fab acceptance, the SMG/Selma one is obvs, because of the lezlove.  

In my mind, the only true winner is the one of the little superhero, who costars with Australian moviestar, Kurt Lazarus.  Kirsten Dunst and Tobey MaG sort of changed the whole meaning of movie kisses.  They spawned countless imitations (including a supremely sexy one between Seth and Summer, second season of TheOC), and showed how fab an anonymous makeout sesh can be.  I actually have no recollection of any other MTV kisses ever.  Because maybe they are totally unmemorable.

Ah, but TV kisses, that's another story.  Veronica and Logan, first season, after they battle my second grade crush, JTT, ah now that is passion.  And the following few episodes just keep getting better.  Ryan and Marissa on the ferris wheel.  Ryan and Marissa over and over again.  Just youtube best kisses, and you will see for sure, that TV, for some reason, expresses much better kissy passion than movies.  Maybe because movies can show sex, so they don't put as much pressure on the power of some lip action, as non-HBO/Showtime channels do.  Ross and Rachel outside the coffeeshop anyone?  How about Rory and Jess at Suki's wedding?  Okay, some movies can do it (we have all seen Titanic, I get it), but unless you are Zac and Vanessa, or in a cartoon, TV has the category topped.

I Like Lists; Volume 1: Sitcom edition

On my wall, I have a pathetic piece of paper labeled happy list, which I made years ago at camp.  It has maybe a hundred different things that make me happy, but none of those things make me as happy as simply making the list.  

Great Things About Sitcoms:

They are short

They tend to last for many seasons, unless they suck or are underappreciated

Even the most serious episodes try to make you laugh out loud

Popular shows bring in pretty sweet guest stars

They have a formula, so there is always an idea of what to expect

You get to know the characters over time

They can meld comedy and drama fairly well

Friends is one

Teardrops on My Guitar

I don't mean the Tay Tay song either.  Even though most people know how much I love her.  I just mean things that make me cry.  I used to cry about everything.  I could cry on cue, to get the big sis in trouble.  I could cry over getting punished.  But the first time a movie made me cry was the first time I saw Titanic in fourth grade.  Maybe it was Leo's sheer beauty, or the frozen bodies in the water, or the fact that one half of the star-crossed duo died (everyone knows the ending anyway, don't whine).  I guess it was all of it, because 9-year old Sandy stayed in the seat after the movie and sobbed.  Next up was My Girl, because really who can't cry during that?  Come on, when he goes back to get the mood ring, and then the bees, and the funeral home, it's the most depressing.  

But nothing compares to the ultimate tearjerker.  Starring the famazing Bette Midler and the unknown in anything else to me, Barbara Hershey, is the sob-inducing masterpiece, Beaches.  I can barely even think about that movie without breaking down.  Who can resist, when Bette sings Wind Beneath My Wings, with the daughter watching from the sidelines?  If you can, don't tell me, because I will deem you heartless and write you off.

I will not deem you heartless if you write off the first ever book that made me cry, A Walk to Remember.  I agree with your mocking.  Because Nicholas Sparks is terrible. But dying teenagers is sad.  Right?

Ever since, everything will make me cry.  I have to skip season finales of TV shows, and don't even get me started on the Ross/Rachel breakup episode of season 3 (they continue to break up every season following, but they don't do it).  

Now you know.  My pathetic secret.  Movies, TV episodes, books, "Let it Be", it all reduces me to the status of a post-partum mother.  Fortunately, TV commercials haven't done it yet.  Maybe the whole my brother ditched me for pot commercials, but THAT'S IT.

Love you Taylor Swift!

The epiphany

In When Harry Met Sally, Sally explains that she broke up with her ex-boyfriend because he did not believe that there were no Sundays in her days of the week underwear.  She says that they don't make Sundays "because of God."  Sundays are a holy day in which you should do no work and whatever.  I guess that translates to underwear.  And to blogs.  This Sunday was the first time I have skipped a day since starting the thing.  And I picked the holy Sabbath to do it.  Uh, but as a Jew, my Sabbath is on Saturday and this rational makes zero sense.  But I needed some sort of excuse.

It has come to my attention recently that I have been labeling my different entries as if they were episodes of a TV show.  You know, with a twist on a movie title or song.  The original "pilot" was intentional, but after that, I guess my incessant tv watching just inspired me.  I don't really mind the whole TV format, but only if they don't become too predictable.  No one style.  This post is in the style of The O.C., always beginning with "The".  Next up, maybe a Friends, with a "the one where..."  But if I ever pull a Degrassi and start labelling each post after an 80s pop song (with the exception of the first season masterpiece, "Jagged Little Pill", hellooo 90s), please stop me.  I need the variation.  

Speaking of variation, I want to jump to a new topic.  I wish that I could write a novel. Like a really silly, fun one.  Cecily von Ziegesar isn't even good and she got a hit TV spinoff of her bestselling series.  I just finished Something Borrowed, written by Emily Giffin and encouraged by Liz Skale (from the carousel).  It was so cute and girlie that I think that I could totally do it.  Better right about being young when I still am.  Well, sort of young.  No more teenager.  Hello wrinkles and gray hair.  But yeah, I would be a fab chicklit author.  I have certainly read enough of it.  The best is Sophie Kinsella, in case you were wondering.  Hello new career.  I welcome you.