For my kindergarten graduation, we sang a song called "First Grade First Grade," sung to the tune of "New York New York." "Start spreading the news. We're leaving today. We're gonna be a part of it. First grade first grade." It was beautiful. And then I got to first grade. New school, new kids, new biker chick teacher in leather pants. It was great. I was one of the only kids in the class who knew how to read, so I showed off and read chapter books, like Sweet Valley Kids and Baby Sitter's Little Sister and the American Girl Doll books. Felt like the smartest kid in the world.
My biker chick teacher made us write in journals every day, so we could improve our writing skills. I was already a pro with a paper and pencil, so I was able to branch out and write about actual events, instead of writing things like "I have a mom and a dad." I was able to go all out, writing things like "My mom and mom-mom took me to see Too Wong Foo this weekend." I was in the phase of telling my mom every little detail of my life at that point, so I told her what I put in my journal and she FLIPPED OUT. Apparently mothers aren't supposed to take their 5, 6, and 8 year olds to see PG13 movies about drag queens. She was beyond embarrassed that my teacher learned about her lax parenting techniques.
On the bright side, I don't think that I understood anything that went on in the movie. I rewatched it yesterday, and I actually didn't remember a single thing in the movie. It was as if it were brand new. I remember after I saw it, I was shocked when Robin told me that the girls in the movie were men. Despite the fact that the whole plot of the movie revolves around the fact that they are drag queens. But I suppose that the term "drag queen" isn't that familiar to 6-year olds. I think that when I grow up and have kids, I will let them watch whatever they want to. They won't understand any of the dirty stuff until they are older anyway. I didn't get 90% of Clueless until I was like 14 anyway. Screw what the biker chicks think. Freedom of parenting! Now the matter of finding the guy to knock me up...
I never really got into the Karen books. I always thought she was lame, even though she was my age. I guess Babysitter's Club was just more on my level. Uhhh, right. Also, I didn't get 90% of Clueless, either. Or Jordan Knight's "Give it to Me." Even though it is possibly the most sexually explicit song (that isn't by R. Kelly) that I have ever heard, even today.
ReplyDeleteoh my god! i called them the karen books too! because they were always called something like "karen's big day" or "karen finds a dog."
ReplyDelete